Becoming a New Widow

Though we do not dwell on it, the possibility becoming a widow is in the back of our minds if we are married, and surfaces now and then in our Senior years. And now it has happened to me. When it happens, it really does change absolutely everything, literally and because our perspective on life drastically changes. The former life is finished, and we have to learn to live a new life.

During the first week of August, my precious and beloved husband of 38 years passed away next to me somewhere between the time we went to bed at midnight and the time I got up during the night at about 3 am. The last sound I heard from him was laughter as we joked about something before going to sleep, and we had just finished a nice Saturday together. The weather had been beautiful, he spent time weed whacking with his new weed whacker, and we sat together on our deck overlooking the lake. It had been a beautiful, peaceful day. My husband had just turned 64 a few weeks before, but he had Diabetes and had had 2 heart attacks in the past 10 years and a few cardiac procedures. We were ready to embark on yet another good nutrition program come September, I worked hard on and off over the years to keep him healthy, as much as I could manage and he would allow. There was a big part of me that expected that something like this would happen, but it was a huge blow and shock when it actually did. I immediately called the local police and my brother who lives nearby, and of course my children, all came within the hour, and the rest is somewhat of a blur. We had a beautiful Memorial Service the Friday after. Many came, and our Pastor put together such a nice and meaningful program.

During the first two weeks, there was a constant flow of visitors, cards, and meals. After two weeks my daughter, sister and son took turns staying with me most nights of the week and there were some visits from friends. This went on until recently, now the overnight stays are occasional, and I am experiencing the many things that when combined make up the grieving process. How I would like to be done with the extreme pain and heartache that comes with such a loss, but my friends who have made this journey before me tell me that it takes time.

It took me a while to decide whether or not to post this on my blog, but then I thought my readers are mature adults like I am, and some may find my sharing on this topic helpful. Though I will continue with the lighter themes and topics we have started, I do want to spend some time sharing my grief and widowhood journey just for those who may be helped by it. The photo was taken a few years ago on a vacation in Maine....we always vacationed in September. Oh how I miss this man.

Updated 11/30/18

Easy to Grow Vegetables TOMATOES

Tomato plants are easy to grow in the vegetable garden or in containers in a location that receives several hours of sun. You will get tomatoes in a location with difficult soil and a few hours of sun, but the quality and quantity will be less than a spot with richer soil and more sun.

On my property, I have many trees, and rocky soil. But by adding some composted soil to our rocky soil, I have successfully grown healthy tomatoes.

In recent years, I have been planting them in containers on the deck, which receives several hours of sun each day. I like to grow cherry and grape tomatoes as they mature more quickly than larger tomatoes and we can enjoy them for a longer time in the summer. I plant in mid-May, and the plants are finished for the season in September. I do use tomato cages right in the containers. Here are some of my grape tomatoes ripening on the deck during the summer:

This image was taken by me

The roots of the tomato plant tend to stay close to the surface of the soil, and though the plants tolerate dry soil to a degree, it is best to keep the soil somewhat moist between rain showers and storms. This is especially true for tomatoes planted in containers. 

As for feeding, my plants are fed about every two weeks. 

I have only started plants from seeds once, it's hard to do if you don't have a sunny location or grow lights to keep them happy. This is why I like to give my local garden shop some business by purchasing young tomato plants. I have thought of making a very small "greenhouse" like structure...more like a frame covered in heavy plastic, to cover and protect plants that I start from seeds on the sunny deck...time will tell if this project is ever done.

We are at about 900 feet in Northern NJ and planting season lasts from mid-may to mid-September, or a little later if we have a mild fall.   I harvest all of the remaining tomatoes at the end of the season, even if green, and put the green tomatoes in a brown paper bag to ripen, which they do fairly quickly if they are mature enough.

In only a few months gardening can begin! I can't wait.

Image Credit: Clare Bloomfield at http://FreeDigitalPhotos.net 
Updated 11/30/18

Heart Shaped Flowers and Gardening

Today I would like to add Gardening to the categories that we have in the right margin, because it truly can be a restful experience. For some, just working in the soil is relaxing, whether it be in a flower bed or vegetable garden, or a container garden like the one that I have on my deck.

Some may not think of the actual planting as relaxing, but may find pleasure and relaxation just looking at gardens that have been cultivated by others.

Whichever you prefer, I hope you enjoy the new theme, new pages and posts will be added as the days go by. To start, in keeping with the fact that this month is the month of love and Valentine's Day, I have created a page about Heart Shaped Flowers. I hope you enjoy, and will visit the "Gardening" theme to the right occasionally to see what new posts and articles have been added.

If you live in a cold climate and are looking forward to Spring, we only have a month to go, and a couple to a few months until we can really get our hands into the soil. I can't wait!

Image Credit ~ I have had this image for years, the site
that I obtained it from is no longer available.

Updated 11/30/18

Free Humble Heart Crochet Pattern for Valentines Day

You do not have to be an advanced crocheter to crochet these hearts for Valentine's Day.

A week or two ago I created a page with instructions on how to crochet the hearts you see pictured...this is a picture of my first attempt, and I share how I used them with my husband's Valentines gift.

They are humble hearts, but have become nicer with more and more practice.

There is a video tutorial as well. 

Please click here for the free pattern for easy to crochet Valentine's Hearts, or visit the "Crochet" link in the upper right margin for all of my free crochet patterns and tutorial pages.

Updated 11/30/18

My Mother's Coloring Habit - a Relaxing Hobby

Last weekend I was visiting my Mom who celebrated her 87th birthday, and she was showing me the beautiful pictures that she has colored, intricate pictures with many details. Coloring is her new hobby, she says, and it is becoming a popular past-time for more than just children. I have another friend who is my age that also enjoys coloring.

Years back I asked for crayons and coloring books as a gift, before adult coloring was a popular as it is now, and I got them both. I didn't want grown-up adult coloring books, but the "easy" kind that children would enjoy coloring, but ended up with both and found that each had their own advantage.

Coloring transports me back in time to childhood days and happy memories. I love coloring animals in particular, because I am an animal lover. My mother prefers coloring flowers, and has markers that that she colors with, fine tipped markers especially for coloring and perfect for the small spaces that she fills with color.

I like to think that she took an interest in coloring again when she was staying with me for a few days, and we colored together. I colored casually, but she did so artistically, paying attention to detail and shading. Here is a picture of one of the pictures she colored last summer:

So it is not only quilting or crocheting that brings relaxation and pleasure, but the simple act of coloring.

Have you discovered the relaxing benefits of coloring as an adult?

Image: Coloring taken by me
Updated: 11/30/18

Hand Quilting - How to Hand Stitch a Quilt

Though some like to use a quilting sewing machine to piece together their quilts, many find hand stitching a quilt relaxing.

I have put together a page for beginners with a series of video tutorials to help you start and finish a quilt, or a smaller quilted item.

You can click here to go to the tutorial page.

If additional pages are added about quilting, you will find them all by clicking "Quilting" in the upper right margin.

Image: from Pixabay by vero1234

Updated 11/30/18

I am Back to Share Some Hand Quilting Tips

I just looked to see when my last post was, October, it makes sense, that is the month that my dear brother was diagnosed with a brain tumor. As he was disabled, I was one of his guardians. Since that time we have gone through a difficult journey with him that ended June 29th with his home-going to heaven. We made many decisions for him, as he could not make his own, nor could we explain to him what was happening to him. But for as long as possible, right up to the final weeks when he slept most of the time, he smiled and laughed and kept his positive attitude. I miss him terribly.

In that time my husband also had a heart attack, but his life was saved.

Now I am trying to get back to doing things I had set aside, and am excited about getting into the topic of quilting. I have something all laid out to share here, and will be working on it during the coming days.

Updated 11/30/18

How To Crochet Tutorial Pages are Now Complete

At least I hope they are! I've been working on them over a period of time, and think that they are complete enough to reveal to you now.

Following is a complete list of the pages:

How to Crochet - Free Stitch Instructions and Abbreviations

How to Understand Crochet Pattern Codes and a Printable List of Abbreviations

Buying the Right Crochet Hook and Free Metric, US and UK Conversion Charts

How to Crochet a Slip Knot (sl knot) Stitch and Starting Chain (ch)

How to Crochet a Single (sc) Double (dc) Triple or Treble (tr or tc) Stitch

How to Crochet a SLIP STITCH (sl st or ss)

How to Crochet Single (sc dec) and Double Decrease (dc dec) and (sc inc) (dc inc) Increase Stitches

How to do the DOUBLE CROCHET DECREASE (dc dec)

How to Fasten Off - Hide Crochet Ends - Change Yarn Colors

How to Crochet in Front (fl) and Back Loop (bl)

How to Crochet Back Post (bp) and Front Post (fp)

Basketweave Crochet Stitch using Front Post Double Crochet (fpdc) and Back Post Double Crochet (bpdc)

How to Crochet a Cluster Stitch (cl)

How to Crochet a POPCORN Stitch (pc)

How to Crochet a PICOT Stitch (p)

How to Crochet a LOOP Stitch (lp(s))

How to Crochet a BULLION aka RICE aka ROLL Stitch

How to do a CROSSED DOUBLE CROCHET (cr dc) or Double Crochet Crossed

How to Crochet a PUFF Stitch (ps OR puff st)

I hope you find these to be helpful to new inexperienced crocheters and experienced alike.

Updated 11/30/18

Free Headband Ear Warmer Crochet Pattern with Sunflowers!

The cool months of fall and winter are just weeks away here in the Northeast USA, and for some of us it's hard to say goodbye to the flowers and trees, and with this cute pattern, we don't have to.

Ruth Cox, a friend I know from various forums and writing spots on the web, has put together a page with a free crochet pattern for a Sunflower Headband or Ear Warmer. She includes photographs of the steps in making the headband.

There's a story behind the headband on her page, and a link to a source for other free crochet patterns. I'll be featuring that link myself later this week, but for now, you'll find it and this free crochet pattern on Ruth's page.

For more posts that lead to free patterns, visit the "CROCHET" link under "Posts by Topic" in the upper right.

Have a terrific Tuesday!

Image Credit: Ruth Cox - just one step in the process 

Updated 11/30/18

Kindle Nook and Tablet Crochet Cover Patterns Added

Today a free crochet patterns for Kindle and other tablets page that I once had published at another location has been moved to Working Grandmothers. 

It had many visits at it's old location, and I hope that it will bring pleasure to visitors here.

The pattern can be found here - Crochet a Kindle Tablet Cover - Free Crochet Patterns.

All posts leading to crochet patterns can be found in "Posts by Topic" in the upper right of this page under "Crochet".

Image: My own - free to use if you provide a link back to this post or the page linked to in the post. Thank you.

Updated 11/30/18

Personal and Business Success Stories

Another group of articles have been added to the topics on this blog.

The topic is Personal/Business Success Stories - by clicking the link here and under the topics section to the right you will find several articles by Grandmothers and "Grandmother aged" woman sharing their business successes and stories about their Grandchildren.

If you have a business success story to share, please contact me through the comment section, comments are moderated by me and I will not approve one of this nature.

Thank you!

Update 11/30/18

Prayer Shawl Pattern Page has been Added

Last week I added a free prayer shawl pattern page to this site, and wanted to make it, as well as other patterns and crafts that will be added, so that you could easily find it by clicking the "CROCHET" Link above, only to discover that pages cannot be tagged.

But no worries, you can find all posts with links to crochet patterns by clicking "Crochet" under "Posts By Topic" in the upper right.

To go to the prayer shawl pattern, click "The Hug of a Prayer Shawl"

This was originally written by me a few years ago at another location, and due to changes at that site, it has been moved to my website here.  There are actually two fairly easy prayer shawl patterns.

Updated 8/21/20

Improvements are Coming to the Working Grandmothers Site

Over the coming weeks, you will see improvements being made on this website. 

I started today by adding a new header and changing the background.

Next week I will be adding clickable topic titles above, for example Crafts, Business, Grandchildren, etc., so that you can easily find specific pages that interest you.

Your suggestions are always appreciated, don't hesitate to leave a comment.

Meeting Up with Online Business Friends in Person

A successful business woman who works from home on the internet spends a lot of her time alone with her computer.  In my case I often have one or two social networking sites open during the day, which provides the social aspect of my work at home.  I'm not sitting in an office with people physically, but very much engaged with others online...and from all over the world! 

Every now and then you discover a person who lives not so far from you, or one who is passing through your area when traveling, and would like to meet you in person!  Such was the case for one of my online friends who uses the name "Wednesday-Elf".  She is part of a network of crafty working grandmothers who keep in touch with one another and encourage one another. 

In her delightful little story "Meeting an Online Friend in Person", you can see how this can happen, and how our relationships with those online truly are deeper and more meaningful than some may think they are.

Related Post: Loneliness While Working from Home

Updated 11/30/18

All Work and No Play Makes Grandma...

I'm not quite sure what all work and no play makes a Grandmother or Grandmother aged woman, because I am not able to sit still long enough to find out.  In fact, I have been busy writing online so much today that I'm about ready for another get up and move about moment.

What is it that you enjoy doing as one who works from home?  I am sure if you have grandchildren, it is finding time to spend time with them.  But what are your leisure activities?  Do you enjoy reading? Crafting?

What is the last book that you have read?  What craft project are you working on?

I do my reading in the evening before bedtime, and most evenings, if I wasn't enjoying time outdoors but sitting indoors with my husband, I crocheted while watching whatever he enjoyed on TV.  There are only a few shows and movies that I really enjoy myself, but I enjoyed keeping him company. At this update some years later, I am a relatively new widow, and still keep pretty much the same schedule.

It is tempting to come in here to my laptop and spend time on my computer during the evening, but I try to make an effort not to do that, as leisure time is so important, as is unwinding during the evening hours before settling down to a good nights sleep.

Updated 11/30/18

The Wayback Machine to the Rescue Again

Have you accidentally deleted a blog post?  I just did this the other day as I was working in a hurry to clean up some old posts on one of my blogs, accidentally deleting a post that I wanted to keep.

A few years ago I learned about the Wayback Machine. All you do to find your old post is click this link and put the url of the blog post you are missing, if you can recall the full url, in the field toward the top of the page and click the "take me back" button.  You will then see a calendar with certain dates highlighted in blue.  Pick the highlighted date that is most current out of these highlighted dates, and you will see an image of your post as it was on that date.

You can "copy" and "paste" your information and re-publish the post as a new post if it is valuable to you. Make sure you check any linked text in your post if you copy and paste as the Wayback site changes the url to include their site.    

If you can't recall the url of the particular post, the archive links in the margins are click-able, and you may be able to find it this way. Of course, it is best to back up your blog regularly, something I am trying to do more consistently, but the Wayback Machine has saved me more times than I like to admit.

Updated 11/30/18

Now I Know Why Backing Up Computer Files is So Important

Today my old faithful laptop that I worked on daily for the past 6+ years crashed.  I tried to recover it, to no avail.  I tried the disk that puts it back to factory setting, that didn't work either.  

I do most of my work on the web, so am able to reach many of my income sources, but hundreds of files are now gone...picture files, my important bookmarks to web pages, documents from some family matters I kept track of, and so much more.  I think I can live without these things in some ways, but won't really know until I go to look for something and it's not there.

So now I do wish I'd backed up my files.  It's going to be interesting to see what the coming days and weeks bring. I will occasionally be able to work on my husbands desktop computer...when he doesn't need it...like right now.

DO back up your files, especially if you are using your computer for your home business, or have important documents stored on it.

Updated 11/30/18

Simple Tips - Increasing or Decreasing Page and Text Size

Many people already know how to increase the text size or page size on a blog or website, but some of you may not, so I thought I'd let you know what I took too long to discover. In fact, I learned how to do this when someone shared it as an aside during a news report. It had nothing to do with the daily news, but it was news to me.

This tip is for desktop or laptop computers, not tablets.

All you have to do is hold the control (ctrl) key down, and at the same time tap the plus (+) key or minus (-) key depending upon whether you want to increase or decrease the size of the page. The text will usually increase and decrease along with the page. I find this so helpful and a great help in reducing eye strain while reading on the computer. If you have a related tip, please feel free to leave it in a comment.

I will also say that when I return to visit the same page again, it seems that my browser "remembers" the size I want to view the page and text in, and I don't have to increase or decrease the web page size again.  

Updated 11/30/18

Hurricane Sandy Leaves Many Homeless

I am a resident of New Jersey and we are in the midst of a long journey back from super storm Hurricane Sandy.   Though we do not live along the shore, it is a favorite vacation and day trip destination for us and many.  Even worse is the destruction to summer and year-round homes.

Personally, my home is in the midst of wooded Northern New Jersey.  The type of damage suffered was the falling of many many trees on wires, homes and cars.   We were fortunate in that the worst that we suffered was power out for 10 days, some are still without power as I type this.

In memory of our beautiful New Jersey shoreline, here is a picture and short video taken with my little point and shoot camera only 2 months before Hurricane Sandy swept much beauty and history away.

 

Our thoughts and prayers go out to all those in New Jersey, New York and other States affected by Hurricane Sandy. 

Updated 11/30/18

Is You Credit Record Good Enough to Borrow?

Because we have a good credit record, borrowing money has not been hard for us. Perhaps it is as good as it is because we don't borrow just because we want something, always pay our bills on time, and are generally careful about managing our money.

We have had some challenging emergencies that have come our way that have required borrowing, and though we don't like owing money, it has been good to know our credit score is good enough to make it easy and possible.

Monitoring your Credit Report and Score is made a lot easier if you know how your financial decisions affect your credit score. If you would like to learn more about the things that harm your credit score, and find links to get free credit scores, you'll find a lot of educational information at the link above.

Updated 11/28/18