Life Changes and Mother's Day Traditions

Another Mother's Day has come and gone, and changes in life circumstances can dramatically affect how you view the day. 

I hope the day was a happy one for you, but the reality is, as years go by, there are Mother's Day's in the mix that are not quite all that you hoped that they would be.  There may be the loss of a mother, circumstances surrounding one of your children, difficult memories from childhood...any negative happening in life can change how you approach the day.

I am blessed to still have my dear Mom, in fact I did a tribute to her this year, 7 Things I Learned to Love from Mom, and printed it out and gave it to her with my gift this year. She is such an example to me of how to view the difficult challenges of life, and live with the right focus, one day at a time.  Her life has been both blessed and difficult, and she would probably say that the blessings mean all the more because of the difficulties.  She views Mother's Day and any other day through this positive perspective.

This year was different for us.  In past years I often had everyone here for Mother's Day.  Now due to various things, my brother's, sister and I spend time with Mom separately...I like it as the focus can be 100% on her...not to mention she gets spoiled over an extended period of time.  She has a little difficulty hearing, and being in a large room with many people, or in a restaurant around a large table, makes it easy for her to be in the background as everyone talks with one another...so we enjoyed lunch and a visit together during last week.

On Mother's Day my dear children joined my husband and I at church, and then we had a bite to eat out, then we came back to my home to spend time together.  It was a beautiful day...and I'm a thankful Mom.

Updated 11/28/18

Bonding Between Grandchildren and Grandmothers

This article was formerly on my old "Selling with Articles" site. The site no longer exists, but the article is a good one and worth sharing. I hope you enjoy.

Building A Bond Between Grandparents And Grandchildren

By: Scarlett Capelli

Grandchildren are one of the special joys you receive as you get older. While raising your own children, you may not have had the time or the energy to spend as much time with them as you wished to. Now you can build a special bond with your grandchild.

If you have more than one grandchild, you should try to spend quality time with each one individually. If both their parents are working, these children may not get much attention separately. Plan a unique activity for each one, a memory that only the two of you will have. These activities can be as simple as a nature walk in the woods or playing a board game. You can also teach your grandchild a skill, such as how to play the piano or how to cook. When he grows up and uses these skills as an adult, your grandchild will fondly remember who it was that taught to him.

Another way to get close to your grandchild is just to talk to him and then to listen to what he has to say. Again, with both his parents being busy, the child may not have anyone who really listens to him. Establishing open and close communication when the child is young may lead your grandchild to maintain that communication when he is older and you may pleased to find that he seeks your advice when making important decisions about his future.

You can also share the family history with your grandchild. A child can feel more secure knowing that he belongs to an extended family group. Tell the child about relatives that he may not know and share with him any information that you have about your ancestors. Most children are interested in knowing where their family came from. You can spend an afternoon going through old photo albums and scrapbooks, telling your grandchild small facts about each picture. Also share with him stories of your own youth and his parent’s childhood. Not only will this entertain your grandchild, it is a way to ensure that the family histories get passed on to the next generation.

A young child will become excited when he receives mail with his name on the envelope. In addition to birthday and Christmas cards, you can also send him cards for other holidays as well as short notes and letters. This can make your grandchild feel that he is special.

If you do not live close to your grandchild, you can still form a bond with him. In the age of cell phones and computers, pictures are easy to send back and forth between you and the child. You could also mail a video tape of yourself showing him activities that you like to do and in return you can ask the child what activities he likes to do. When there are family get togethers, you can still plan to spend quality time with your grandchildren, although you may have to plan a group activity as time may be an issue in trying to plan activities with each one of them separately.

Being a grandparent can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. Building a strong and loving bond with your grandchildren can lead to a close relationship that will last you the rest of your life.

(The link provided by the author is no longer valid at this update...perhaps she will find us one day and give us a new one.)

Updated 11/27/18

Grandparenting from Far Away

It is Sunday, November 25, 2007. I am in sunny Florida where the temperature is a it-feels-so-good 80 degrees and the sun is glorious. This is my permanent home now as of April 2004. I live on a wonderful little island called Anna Maria Island where the island's slogan is: "Paradise Without Attitude." That couldn't be any more true. Anna Maria is a quaint, charming, historic, laid-back and very friendly "old Florida-like" little barrier island situated on the Gulf Coast between Bradenton and Sarasota, about 1/2 way down the long state. To me, it really IS paradise. 
 
There is only one downside. And that downside is...............my two grandbabies live far, far away in the buckeye state--Ohio. My perfect world would be to have all of my family and dear friends move down here, too. But alas, that is not likely to happen! So, my grandma-hood consists of as many trips to Ohio as I can make, along with phone calls, DVDs made from camcorders, and hopefully, one day soon, webcams.

I was concerned the first time I went back after Truman (my oldest grandchild, now age 3) was only about 18 months, that he would shy away from me. To my unbelievable delight, he seemed to really connect with me, and now he has ever since. Sometimes, he will go through about a 20 or 30 second "hide on daddy's leg" routine from which he quickly recovers. Then.............we speedily proceed to Grandma getting down on the floor ("Grandma, sit on carpet") to play many things. We play with Lightning McQueen and Buzz Lightyear and Dora the Explorer and those great, colorful Lego building blocks that I wish had been around when I was a little tyke. (I think we had Lincoln Logs and wooden blocks, which were certainly okay, but WOW, the colors of those lego blocks are great!) And we play "giggles" that we make up as we go. That's probably one of my favorites, because Truman will get right up close to my face and just giggle, and of course, it makes me giggle, too. It is more precious to me than I can express in mere words! Well, now then, I have a new one! New grandbaby. Truman now has a baby sister and her name is Brecken. He told me on the way to the hospital the day she was born (August 24, 2007) that he wanted a "girl brother." And his other Grandma and Grandpa had purchased for him a very special shirt which said "I'm the Big Brother." He was ready. He was now taking on a new roll of brother. No longer was he a son and a grandson. Uh-uh. He is now a BROTHER, too. And what a brother he is! He is so gentle and loving with little Brecken, it just warms your heart to see him. Even his little voice softens as he speaks to her. Now of course, we all know that will change over time, don't we? One day, she will just be his bratty little sister and he will argue with her and vice-versa. But for now, she is his "girl brother" and it is so cool to see him interact with her. So now, I have two reasons to have a sort of "split" heart! I say this because even though I love beautiful Ohio, I no longer want to live there. I truly deeply love Anna Maria Island and its warmth and beaches. Those are the reasons I moved here. But I surely do miss those little ones! They are absolutely one of the biggest joys of my life. I'm not sure when I'll get to visit again. I know Brecken will have changed a lot and will probably be sitting up and getting some "toofers" and all of those wonderful first-year things that babies do. In the meantime, however, I have the memory of her beautiful little face, surrounded by that incredible mountain of black hair. I have the memory of her sweet, soft, tiny little fingers grasping my larger one. And I particularly have this Truman memory that brings tears to my eyes every time I think of it: he and I were playing out in the dirt with his new little motorcycle shortly before I left to come back to Florida. It was in mid-October, and a rather nice warm day for Ohio that time of year. We were sitting in the dirt and I was telling him about how motorcycles do "hill climbing." So we made a hill-climbing track. And he was racing the cycle up the track. And all of a sudden, he reached over and plucked a late-blooming dandelion. Then he handed it to me, and said "here, Grandma, I picked a flower for you." I don't even have to tell you what that meant to me. So.....a short while later, we went back inside the house, I carrying my flower, which one of the dogs promptly tried to take out of my hand and munch. I was able to retrieve all of the stem, and a portion of the flower head, so of course, I immediately placed it in a safe place where I could press it and save it forever and ever. And even when it crumbles away, I will always have that memory pressed in my heart.

Being a Grandma is incredible! Thank you for allowing me to share my stories about MY grandchildren. Have a wonderful day! Sincerely, Janet 

Guest post by Janet aka Oceana

Updated 11/27/18

First Grandbaby

When my son told me they were expecting, I had no doubt he'd be a great dad. But was I ready to be a grandmother? Sounds old doesn't it?

My youngest was 9 at the time and still denies being an aunt. Old is a state of mind, It doesn't matter your age or if your body starts to fall apart. What matters is living in the moment, enjoying life, fulfilling your purpose, living your dreams.

Grandkids are a gift, to help us stay young. Look at Jack snuggling up with his mom, such contentment. I just couldn't resist taking the picture and sending it out on a card. 

Grandkids are a joy!

Guest post by Heidi Caswell

Updated 11/28/18

Grandmother Teaches Marketing Skills Lessons

Several years ago I came upon this article on one of those article marketing sites that were popular at the time, and thought it was cute. In it, a man shares how, by doing the simplest of things, his Grandmother helped shaped his life. I hope you enjoy it.

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Sometimes in looking back I do wish that I could tell you I developed my marketing skills at some nice Ivy League school, but things just didn't turn out that way for me. Being self-studied in marketing and advertising is the only way I could explain my background in marketing. My first experience in marketing started back in 1979. Me and my cousin Eddie where watching television. At the time he was 9 and I was 7 years old. There was no internet or "Laser" marketing. The "Big Time" marketers did T.V. commercials, snail mail, and print advertising.

As we watched the "One-Eyed Monster" we caught a great piece of marketing before the T.V. fried our brains and made us lose our vision from sitting so close. Well, that's what we where told by my grandmother. After viewing the commercial by Country Tyme Lemonade where the little kids where selling their lemonade from a stand out front of their house. We had a great idea! Not a unique idea, but nevertheless it was a great one to us. So, I may partially owe my first business and marketing joint venture to Country Tyme Lemonade. We jumped right up and headed to my Grandmothers room to get an approval on our lemonade sales. Seeing two cute little kids asking to become lemonade sales and marketing professionals how could she say no, especially as cute as I was? We made the lemonade, set up the stand, and created the sign for advertisement. Then my Grandma gave us our first marketing advice. "Hey, why don't you take your stand out closer to the street and flag down some traffic with your sign? That should get you a lot of customers." We thought that was a cool idea, plus for the first time we had permission to play close to the street.

Well, the first day went pretty good, but our marketing and advertising was still off a little because it was kind of hard to get folks to pull over even though we had several people to circle the block. All together the $1.10 we spent at the penny candy store down the street was well worth it. The next 24 hours we spent time thinking on how we could have customers lined up down the block. So of course we turned to our top marketer for advice. She said "You can start letting people sample your lemonade first, and you can also stand by the stop sign which will help stopped drivers see you better."

When we set out the next day to try out our new marketing and advertising approach everything turned out great. Sales more than doubled! Then I learned a valuable lesson that made sales go through the roof! Right before we called it a day I found our target market. The mailman who we missed the day before was now walking towards our house. I walked up to him and said "Mister, would you like to try some lemonade we are selling?" He said "Yes, that would be great because I'm very hot." I replied "Well, we have a lot of ice if you're hot." Not only did he buy 1 or 2 cups, but he brought a total of 5! At that point I had become a sales, advertising, and marketing baby guru. We looked on in amazement as he gulped down the fifth cup. after that I started looking for more people who where walking, hot, and tired. I did land a few more sales before counting our profit of $5.50. The next couple of days we made about the same amount. Give or take a buck or two. All due to our new marketing and advertising approach, and the later found fact that my Grandpa had friends he worked with at the Post Office.

This article was originally obtained from a site called "Articles On" which no longer exists. It was written by Mr. Penn, who at the time was owner of the "Work at Home Help Spot" site. I can no longer find him or his site, perhaps one day he will find us? 

Updated 11/27/18

The Influence of a Grandmother

Guest post by author Marilyn Bellegham: In my first book Questing Marilyn: In Search of My Holy Grail, Personal Growth through Travel, I am in Avebury, England in 1986 on a tour of sacred and historical sites. The following excerpt is an awakening to the importance of my grandmother. Sally is the tour guide.

Sally draws our attention to another section of the field in which a large, moss-covered stone stands. She calls this the Grandmother Stone. Waving her arm, indicating the large circles of stones encased in the grassy henge, she suggests we see each stone as a significant person in our lives and imagine meeting with that person and thinking about what we might say to them if they were here.

"Are there relationships you want to heal?” she challenges.

At first I am startled by the idea. I turn slowly around, looking at huge rocks in the distance with critical inspection. The imagery that each of these stones could be an encased spirit of a person from my life shoots through my mind. I slowly turn, and as I focus on one stone after another, I imagine naming each in turn for my sisters, friends, and associates.

Who would I like to visit?

I delight in the concept of using this setting for a grand drama. I contemplate whom I might choose to conjure up so that I can work through my unresolved feelings. I consider my guidance counsellor who had told me I wasn’t university material, an aunt whom I had loved and admired so deeply before her death, and a neighbour who snubbed me as her inferior. Picking the size and shape of stone on which to project a person and play out a drama, tickles my funny bone. In the distance, there are fat stones, tall ones, and ones nearly falling over. I chuckle inwardly at the power I feel.

Doubts about the sanity of what I am doing flash through my brain. The moment passes. I peer about. I want to go to the Grandmother Stone. Quietly waiting for a fellow group member to leave reminds me of standing in line in church, waiting to go to confession, and of the old women circling the Stations of the Cross, each inside her own reality, not aware of the next person. How easily these memories come back into my consciousness. Even after all these years of being away from the church and the rituals learned there, the automatic responses are right at the edges of my mind. I am confusing the religious teaching with the spiritual experience.

This is not a church. What a powerful influence all that had on me! What power it still has on my behavior as an adult woman!

As I stand here in an English field, I regain my sense of being my adult Self and become fully conscious of the fact that I control which path I choose. I want to make this an experience that connects me to my own spirit, my inner energy. I see that now there is no one near the Grandmother Stone. I slowly walk across the long grass toward the towering stone stopping a few feet away. I walk around it. I can see that from one angle the folds and wrinkles of rock resemble the crinkled skin of my paternal Grandmother who died at the age of ninety-two.

Once again, I walk around the stone envisioning a hunched old woman, a silhouette, an imagined spirit of a crone, deep within the stone. I know this is projection, and my imagination at work.

I search for the intimate parts of my personal history. I want to provoke memories of events and experiences that will rekindle the feelings of connection and belonging that I have savored in my past. I want that intimate spiritual harmony of knowing. I am the right person as me, in the right place for me, at exactly the right time for me to be ME.

This is a very personal quest. No one can do this work for me. I can play with my inner heartstrings. I am truly in the moment, making the most of whatever I can be now.

I circle the stone yet again, looking for a place to touch it. I choose my spot and stop to face it directly. I take a deep breath in, and then slowly exhale. I place my feet slightly apart and firmly on the ground about six inches from the stone’s surface. I steady myself, making sure my weight is evenly balanced on the soles of my feet. I clear my mind and focus on my gentle breathing. I slowly lift my hands and place my palms on the stone. I lean forward so my cheek rests upon the rough surface. I can smell a damp, musty scent. It is not unpleasant. I breathe steadily and concentrate on being present in my now. I block the voices of two of my travelling companions who are walking by, momentarily listen to a bird singing, and then close my eyes. I am lost to the outside world, in full view, but not aware of it.

A tear slides down my cheek as I connect with a long-forgotten memory of Grandma. I hear myself as a small child, calling her name. I feel the excitement of the times when I would jump from my parents’ car, almost before it stopped, and run to find her. Visits to her farm were always filled with so many adventures. At my grandmother’s knee, I learned the chores of living that so many women have done: milking cows, churning butter, and feeding hens. Women in all cultures tend to the needs of others until they need to be tended themselves. My mind’s eye reviews the scenes as though I were watching a movie. I let my memory slide forward in time, recalling the changes to her home. A phone was added, then inside plumbing, a propane furnace to supplement the wood stove, an electric range, and her first television, which she got in 1963 because she wanted to watch President Kennedy’s funeral.

I feel the emotional response of missing the years of family gatherings that had stopped with her death. She had been the glue that held that extended family together. Since both my parents predeceased her, her death brought an end to that regular family connection. I feel like a lost grandchild, alone without parents. I let my tears flow, knowing that they are running onto this stone. I can feel them between my skin and the rough surface. I am anointing this crone stone. It will change as a result of my presence if even only for a small amount of moisture to the moss.

The bonds with cousins, aunts, and uncles were all tied through Grandma. There have been weddings and funerals since, but no real parties or picnics. I am one of many, one piece of a larger group of biologically connected people who are, however, emotionally and physically pretty much unknown to each other. I suddenly comprehend this in a new way.

I move away from the huge stone, gently patting it in a loving way, saying a silent goodbye. I make a conscious slide of awareness from past to present. Grandma was once the child, then the mother. Someday, I hope to be a grandmother. Projecting into the future, I contemplate my roles as a woman. I am a daughter to my mother and a mother to my daughters. Each role is unique. Each role influences to flow of human life.

Updated 11/27/18